On emotions

As I wrote in the "On Offense" post, you own your emotions. You control them.

You see, as human beings, we have what Stephen Covey calls "response-ability." All animals respond to stimulus. When a deer smells a human being, it will likely bound away, regardless of the tasty berries it was just eating. When the fly you're trying to swat feels the gust of wind from your hand, it will fly away. When the cat hears the electronic can opener, she comes running. Pavlov's dog, etc. Stimulus --> response.

We as humans, however, have the ability to think before responding, and therefore we have the ability to choose our responses. You see, we have our agency. The prophet Lehi spoke about creatures that are created to "act" and others that are "acted upon." The animals mentioned above are being "acted upon" in that they perceive a certain stimulus and their actions are automatic, for the most part. We humans should be "acting" and not be "acted upon".

When someone is rude to you, you can choose how you will react. You can, as Wayne Dyer puts it, respond with ability (similar to how Dr. Covey says it). You can either respond back with anger and therefore let that person get inside your head and allow them to control how you feel, or you can pause, and think, before responding. Realize that another person's behavior is just that: their behavior. It likely has very little to do with you. If you can take advantage of this golden moment between stimulus and response, and respond positively regardless of circumstance, you will lead a happier, healthier life. Let others own their own behavior, while you own your own. You are indeed responsible for how you handle other people and their behaviors. Let them be angry if they insist, but don't allow them to dictate your behavior based on their anger, or depression, or sadness. Be what you want to be. Feel how you want to feel.

More on this later...